Movies You Must See - Near Misses

On this page you'll find some great movies that just missed out on making it on to the main list, but we thought that they were cool, cult or curious enough to be worthy of a mention.

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Asylum Erotica[1971] - A sleazy horror/whodunit set in an hospital for seemingly attractive women with a phobia of clothing. Klaus Kinski hams it up a treat as a womanising doctor and potential murderer. The storyline fails to explain why the hospital has a room full of ancient weapons and implements of torture, but needless to say the killer finds a good use for them. AKA Slaughter Hotel.

Asylum Night [2004] - This micro-budget movie has the simple premise that a bunch of deranged vampires are doing battle with a bunch of deranged inmates at an asylum. Some nice moments of black humour make the proceedings go with a swing and the £15,000 budget is stretched to very impressive results. The ‘making of’ extras on the DVD will be of interest to any budding film maker.

Atomic Cyborg Fists of Steel [1986] - This cross between The Terminator and Robocop involves Paco a trained killer with his memory wiped [Daniel Greene], who starts to remember pieces of his past and develops a conscience. Refusing orders from the shady conglomerate that programmed him, he suddenly finds that he has now become the pray, with the always reliable John Saxon on his trail.

The Kovak Box [2006] - A neat little sci-fi thriller in which a writer [Timothy Hutton] becomes involved in a nightmarish plot based on one of his novels. It starts like something David Cronenberg has made, however Spanish director Daniel Monzon soon turns it back to the mainstream, but still displays some deft touches along the way.

The Psychopath [1966] - This creepy British movie involves a mad killer who leaves a doll of the victim at the scene of the crime. It’s a clever little thriller with some neat moments of suspense and horror. Robert Bloch the author of Psycho wrote it, but despite competent direction from Freddie Francis, he was no Alfred Hitchcock.

Red Dawn [1984] - Before picking on the Middle East, there was a time when the Hollywood villain would always be a Russian commie, with a flag waving American patriot the hero. Red Dawn is a prime example of this, with communist armies from South America, USSR and Cuba invading the USA, and rapidly capturing most of the country. Fortunately, for America a small group of high school students, trapped behind enemy lines, manage to escape into the Rockies with some hunting rifles and tins of beans. From this mountain hideaway, with guidance from the older Patrick Swayze, they soon become an extremely well trained and equipped guerrilla outfit, snipping enemy soldiers, planting bombs and generally proving a real pain in their big red butts. The storyline is fairly non-existent, as the film just roles along through a series of set-pieces showing the exploits of the group with the occasional jingoistic speech about working together to beat the commies. The impressive cast includes Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Harry Dean Stanton, Powers Booth, Lane Smith and Ben Johnson.

Ring of the Musketeers [1992] this very enjoyable updating of the four musketeers to modern day America stars David Hasselhoff, John Rhys Davies and Cheech Marin [yes him from the Cheech & Chong movies!] Sadly it always feels like a pilot for a TV series that never materialised [which would surely have been TV Gold if it had!], but some classic comic dialogue makes this extremely easy viewing, for example when Cheech is told that The Musketeers were formed by order of The King, he replies “What, Elvis?”. Fans should also note that David Hasselhoff does get to sing a song… everyone else be warned! 

Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 [2008] - In similarity with Asylum Night (above), this enjoyably droll horror film shows what level of excellence can be achieved when working on just a small budget. The story involves a family who decide to hide their daughter in the basement and provide food for her, when she suddenly becomes a vampire shortly after 16th Birthday. The movie is crammed with dysfunctional characters and enough black humour to make it extremely enjoyable viewing.